Brock Lesnar reads book?

There were rumours yesterday that Brock 'The Brain' Lesnar had been spotted reading a book.

Yes, a book. With words.

However, after close investigation it was revealed that the rumour was merely started as an April Fool's joke.

Hulk Hogan smells like wee

But then all men of his advanced years do.

Kurt Angle's neck injury not caused by wrestling

Pro Wrestling Nooz caught up with Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle recently to discuss his neck injury.

We asked Kurt how he actually injured his neck in the first place. "Well," began Kurt, "most people think my injury was a result of some mishap in the ring. It wasn't. I did it breakdancing."

Breakdancing?

"Yeah," continued Kurt, "breakdancing. I often travel down to the hood with my homies to bust some moves."

Uh-huh.

"I did it attempting a headspin. It all went horribly wrong though. I'd just waxed my bald head moments earlier so I could get some speed going on the spin. Unfortunately I spun too quickly and lost control. I twisted my neck up pretty bad."

Is there any possibility of you having to retire?

"No. None." insisted Kurt. "Breakdancing is my life. Without that I have nothing. Word."

Oh God.

Transvestite interferes in Hogan/McMahon match

The foul looking crossdresser interjected himself into the match last night sporting an unsightly skirt and an equally unsightly beer gut. He then proceeded to assault the elderly Hogan with a pipe.

Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with transvestites, but do we really need them in pro wrestling?

Look, all I'm saying is I wouldn't let them near my kids. If I had any.

Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler die horribly somehow

Well, we can but hope.

Brock Lesnar lands on head

There was serious concern raised last night for the condition of Brock Lesnar after 'The Next Big Thing' landed on his head while attempting a shooting star press.

After the match, Brock had trouble remembering his own name and was unable to carry out simple tasks such as reading, writing and speaking.

WWE officials were therefore relieved that the bump to the head had not affected Brock's faculties in any way.

EXCLUSIVE NWA-TNA NEWS!

Ahhh, who cares?

The Rock to star in remake of Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World

The Rock is set to take the lead role in a remake of little known 70's flick Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World.

Rocky will play Digby, a British sheepdog who drinks a super secret vegetable-growing compound and grows to an enormous size.

"It'll be quite a challenge", The Rock told PWN, "but I'm looking forward to it. I've been practicing my bark. Do you want to hear it?"

No. Go away.

Y2J/HBK Wrestlemania Spoiler

Chris Jericho could make good on his promise to end Shawn Michaels' career this Sunday at Wrestlemania. He may achieve this by actually killing the Heart Break Kid.

You may have noticed that the King of the World's goatee has grown to a ridiculous length.. That's not by accident, as it's believed Jericho will use it as a weapon in his match against HBK.

He may well try to choke Michaels to death with it, in a move that's being christened 'The Goat Choke'.

Stephanie's tits to take over as Smackdown GM?

Stephanie McMahon's days as Smackdown General Manager could be numbered. The reason? Well, much like her breasts, her recent performances on TV have been wobbly.

Ironically, those very same breasts could be set to replace her. It's been said that they've impressed many people backstage.

Booker T concerned about 'racial' angle

The controversy surrounding the current feud between Triple H and Booker T increased further today when Booker T voiced his own concerns over the whole racial angle.

Speaking exclusively to Pro Wrestling Nooz, he said "I'm not happy that my race has been dragged into this feud. Apart from the obvious reasons, it just doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm not black!"

When I pointed out to Booker that he was in fact black, he gave me a dirty look, called me a 'sucka' and stormed off angrily.

Brock Lesnar Wrestlemania Spoiler!

There's a major rumour circulating at the moment regarding Brock Lesnar's Wrestlemania match with Kurt Angle this Sunday. According to sources within the WWE, Brock will be able to put on his wrestling boots all by himself by the time wrestling's biggest extravaganza rolls around.

He's apparently been working on the maneuver for months now with the help of WWE veteran The Undertaker, and there's no doubt that this will be the biggest highlight of Lesnar's career thus far.

Elderly man spotted in WWE ring confirmed as Hulk Hogan

Many fans have reported seeing a confused elderly man at recent WWE live events. According to reports, when he isn't rambling endlessly on and on about the good old days, he moves in a weird and erratic fashion around the ring.

WWE officials have now confirmed that he is in fact Hulk Hogan. And as for the weird erratic movements? Well, that was described as 'wrestling'.